Thankful.

Grateful. Appreciative.

I just wanted to write a quick entry to express how THANKFUL I am for all of God's blessings:
GREAT friends, life experiences, people who love me and whom I love deeply - my family.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. God, I know I don't deserve all this but wow. You floor me. Thank you.

Bee-lated Happy Christmas from the Big Apple

I hope you all had a super fantabulous wonderful and blessed Christmas!

I had the honor and privilege of spending my Christmas Holiday with Alvin, a long-lost good friend of mine from way back in University, and his family in Jersey City. I had a fantastic time. Everyone was so nice and I felt like I was truly part of the family. Alvin, thank you so much for letting me spend the Holidays with you. I love you. You're a great friend.

Before all this though, my NY trip would not have been possible without my friend and sister, Maan. Maan, I have no idea why, but our paths always seem to cross, especially when we need each other most. First, Manila, next Beijing, next Singapore, next Chicago, now NYC. I am so glad to have you in my life and know that I will always be here for you. I love you mucho, mare.

And of course, a mad shout out goes out to my "little brother," Charlie. Charlie dear, we were so right in assuming we'd have a fantabulous time together in NYC! I had such a blast with you, I hope you enjoyed your time, too. Here's to our next great adventure (in Europe? ;))!

Terrence - it was so great to see you, dearie! It sucks we didn't get to spend much time together but I sure am looking forward to seeing you in Vegas. Muah! Hope you managed to have a good Christmas!

I will be here in New York from Dec 18th - Jan 3rd. It is an impossibly long (YAY ;)) time, I know, but I am working the week of the 24th through when I leave. I figure I'm here so I might as well celebrate New Year's here, as well! I'm really enjoying my time here. Charlie and I got to watch 4 Broadway shows with really great seats, and we had such a blast. If you ever get the chance, please watch Wicked it is an AMAZING show - I've seen it twice now and can't wait to see it again. The other shows we got to watch were Les Miz, Hairspray, and Spring Awakening. All were great, but Wicked just left me in awe!

The other two shows I'm planning to watch before I go are Phantom and Jump, and then I'm off to Vegas to help prepare for my gran's 90th Birthday celebration!
Just thought I'd post a quick update. I'll post more details next.

For now, may God Bless you and your family even more abundantly in the coming New Year and beyond!

Much love.

Jenny

Aftermath

First of all, I would like to apologize for having offended anyone for my use of brash language in the previous entry. It is very atypical of me to write in such a manner and know that I resorted to such vulgarity only because I was extremely upset at the time. Moving forward, I promise to try to bring myself beyond the initial base reaction before I begin writing.

In the unlikely event that you are curious as to what happened post "hanging up," I received an email the next morning from you-know-who calling me a dragon on a pedestal - an absolutely imperfect human being - and pointing out that among my many shortcomings, my "intimacy issues" and apparently low regard for him are what cause me to treat and use him with distrust and apathy. Interestingly, he ended the note with "From time to time, I may call but really Jen, being treated like you treat me ends now." He also said that me saying I was worried about his money situation was all "lip service." Note to self and you all - personal attacks and the refusal to take accountability for one's own feelings and actions are a glaring sign of immaturity.

I am extremely proud of the way I responded, placing my thoughts into bullet points and codifying them calmly. Here are the last 2 paragraphs and closing:

Last night was bad. I apologize for losing my temper on you… but I felt that all your accusations (even with the disclaimer that they were simply “how you feel”) were unfounded and unfair. I especially think you knew it would hurt my feelings when you told me Tina and Jason thought I was selfish and self-absorbed. I honestly don’t know why you plan on calling me still – from the sound and tone of your feelings and email, it’s like a lamb going to the “dragon” to be slaughtered every single time. Heh.

Please don’t bother calling. I think it would be a long time before we are able to really be friends. There is too much resentment and expectations on both sides which only time can dissolve. There is no need to reply to this email.

I hope you have a good day and best of luck with your life and career.

I think I did good. It's definitely much more satisfying, though it be harder, to take the high road. The following thought is inspired by what my dad said - it's okay to be a kind soul, but kind souls don't have to do crazy things or let themselves be taken advantage of.

When it rains, it pours. Big time.

WARNING: Colorful language will be used.

Holy shit. What's up with today? Mondays are usually not very bad but today was extraordinary! I was getting some funky vibes from most everybody - Charlie, even Marc, Legrand, and worst of all, Chris. Why I decided to call him tonight, I do not know. Well okay, he left me a "ping" notice on my msn and I have been worried about him for awhile now regarding his money situation (he had sms'd me a few weeks ago asking to borrow money), so I thought I'd give him a call.

I had turned him down as politely as I could. He couldn't seem to understand that it was extremely strange and uncomfortable on my part to lend him money especially given the recent talk we had about how I felt he used me for money while we were in a relationship and that we are EXes, for crying out loud. And he said what I think of him matters to him, and then he asks me? It just doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't make sense to him either, apparently, how I could refuse to lend him something as measly as $20. I told him it wasn't the amount that mattered, it was the principle of the matter. But despite my discomfort, I was willing to scrounge up some dough and mail him a check. For goodness' sakes, it sounded like he was in pretty bad shape. But as soon as he started saying that I should wire it to him or whatever, even if a fee for the wiring needed to be deducted from the amount I was going to wire, it just, logically, didn't make sense to me. I mean, if you needed money right there and then, wouldn't you just think about the best person to ask who is LOCAL? Logically, this seems to be the best answer. Why would you want to go through some unecessary bullshit to get even less? At the time, he said it was okay, he understood and that he would resort to that. Tonight he gives me all this bullshit about using him for three years to get "experience", how I never wanted a husband from him, how I couldn't even lend him $20 when a friend ought to do something as SIMPLE as that... how he told his sister Tina and her husband Jason that I refused to help him and how they said that it was good for him as it was a wake up call to see just how selfish and self-absorbed *I* am. OH MY GOD. I couldn't believe my ears. This was the same couple that said thank you for my generosity for their wedding (having contributed the wedding cake) - a point that Chris used to argue to me that how dare I feed strangers I don't even know and not lend HIM $20! OH MY GOD! Is that an insane argument, or what?

I hung up on him.

I should have known it was bad news from the beginning. I should not have reconnected with him. Maybe there was this little timbre of hope of betterment or improvement or that it is simply best to unburden everything and forgive and forget. Maybe I was a little too optimistic. Maybe I'm simply naive. Maybe it was just a little too early.

I have made my mistakes in the past, naturally, and I am making them, still. But now, I am learning - listen to the ones with experience lest I suffer it to be my own.

And Charlie, I don't know what was wrong with you today, but damn, that's no way to treat someone you care about. Did you ever think that YOU might be the issue, not Shani or Louise? I understand adolescence is tough, but man...

Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Smoke On the Mountain and other goings-on

It's been ages, it feels like. And finally, Shrew is over. While I do enjoy the time I now have to myself in the evenings, I really miss the cast and crew that have made the production so memorable. Fortunately, I am once again Assistant Directing a play, and this time, it's no other than the fantastic Beth directing it! Rehearsals start next week and this will be for "Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp." I am very touched she still decided to have me on her crew even if I was going to be out a lot for October. This is going to be a lot of fun, especially as she involved me in the audition process. We got to bounce ideas and candidates off each other. I think I'm really beginning to like being on the production side of things. I can't say I miss being onstage much, though I know the itch to perform will come soon. I really am so proud and so blessed to have found such a 2nd home with the friends I've made in the ACO.

It has not all been peachy keen, however. I recently posted this entry on my work site. I posted it there first because I was extremely emotional, at the time, and knew that the audience I had selected to be able to view my work blog would totally understand. Here it is:

WARNING: This is a griping entry.I have always taken pride in being "different." Well, it seems there are times when I should wish to be "hick-like". I apparently had a really great audition and talent to offer but I just don't have the "look" they are looking for as I'm too "exotic." I didn't take offense or anything at first, but as I thought about it, I realized that my "look" might be what will prevent me from ever being onstage here. I am afraid I may never be cast in a production simply because of that -unless we had Miss Saigon or Flower Drum Song or something similar playing here (which I honestly doubt will ever happen). It's quite frustrating. Ironically, if I were in Manila or a bigger city, I think I may have a bigger chance of being cast in a production somehow. I put my heart into all this and it's a wonderful experience being on the Directing or production side of it, but I'd be lying if I didn't say something tells me I'd always be taking that "role" unless something extraordinary happens, and that my heart is breaking, a little. :(

I think this is my first exposure to just how conservative things might be around here - a thought further cemented by the fact that TWO Asians are playing big roles in the current revival of Les Miz on Broadway - Lea Salonga, playing Fantine, and Ann Harada as Mme. Thenardier. They certainly don't have the look of being French, to me. But, they are there. Even Ali Ewoldt, the actress who plays Cosette, looks exotic! Granted, Smoke is set in the 1930's North Carolinas... ah well, I guess we'll see how things go in the next auditions. It's just frustrating to know that something I cannot change - like my race - is holding me back, plus this is my first experience to anything close to discrimination. I'll admit I might be overanalyzing here and going onstage may be something I'm just not cut out for (like my father just said - more on our phone call later!). I know that Harry's decisions are not racially fueled, but "look" fueled. A lot of people have been telling me to try out for Broadway, and I'm really beginning to think I have even better odds at getting cast there than here. Haha. Perhaps I should just pursue straight musical performance, without the theatre bit... Anyway, as it turns out, this all works, as I will be doing a lot of travel in October, plus AD'ing for Beth.

Shrew closed with a bang and was really successful. I managed to get the performance on tape and I'll hopefully find a way to post the whole thing online without having to chop it to pieces.

On another, more pleasant note, my boss Brad, and his peer Mark, the director of Development, finally came over to visit me here last week! They were accompanied the first day by Richard Power, one of the Acct. Managers, who flew in from Houston. It was AWESOME having them here. Not only did we have a groundbreaking series of meetings, we also got to explore a lot of the area (Beaver Lake, Joplin), AND, they got to watch my play! Mark also began thinking about the need for posting a Dev Business Analyst here. How exciting! I swear, I really need to start having a coworker here. I miss being in an office and being around and working with other people!

I'm currently already researching for schools to go to for my MBA. I have considered possibly going to school physically as a part time or full time student (as opposed to distance learning). My thought is, if things are already set up here in BVille by the time I go to school, why can't I work from wherever my school's at? We'll see. I know Brad will have a heart attack if I even bring this up with him. Haha. I just don't want to miss out on great choices and opportunities like Columbia University, MIT, Dartmouth, and even Harvard, just because I need an online program. If you're going for it, you might as well go for it fullscale! My previous first choice, Thunderbird University, has apparently slipped off the ranks because of their lax admissions, despite being the best program for International Business.

And now for the most fantastical news ever: I AM FINALLY GOING TO NEW YORK!!!! TWICE, EVEN!!!!
This October, I'm flying in because we will be judges in the SIFE World Cup. How exciting is that? We are flying in on a Wednesday but I will stay the weekend to spend some time with my friends in the area! And then... I am going back in December for my Christmas vacation!! Oh my goodness, I am so excited. I will be meeting up with my YT BFF Charlie and we are going to raid Broadway like nothing. We already have tickets for Les Miz, Hairspray, and Spring Awakening. We need to get a few more for Avenue Q, The Little Mermaid, Wicked, and Rent. And we are getting all the best seats available. Muahaha. Why bother holding back? It's not like we go there everyday! He doesn't know this, though, but I'm treating him to Spring Awakening and Rent. :D

Ok, I just got a call from my dad. :S It seems he won't be retiring until the end of this year :( He was supposed to visit me in October! He said he'll probably come in April so it's not as cold. Sigh. I sure hope he gets some rest soon and stops working. The man is a workaholic! (Yes, I get it from him, but it IS hard to quit when you love what you do so much). Anyway, I just wanted to publicly declare how much I love this man and just how wonderful a father he is. I love you, dad!!!! May God bless you always.

Well, I'm off to bed before I get extra high on adrenalin YET again. :)

Ciao!

Smokin' the Mountain

Well. I have officially completed my first musical theatre try out. And oh my gosh was I nervous! My knees were buckling and my voice was shaking. But you know, who the hell cares? The point is you put yourself out there - and learn, and learn, and learn, until you master your art. Harry was kind enough to call out to me that I did a wonderful job as I got back to my seat, after my song. I also got some compliments from other auditionees who had obviously done this whole thing before. That made me feel really good! There was also a reading and harmonics part to the auditions and I think I did really well in that. I pretty much lost my nerves by that time and just let go, had fun, and did as best as I could.

I didn't do all this for a part. I did it for the experience - to finally inch closer towards that comfort level I so long for on the stage because I so desperately want to be able to perform on stage and perform well. I know God gave me a gift and I gotta use it. What a waste if I hold back! So, I decided not to. As Harry said, you gotta put yourself out there because nothing will teach you like experience. And so, I did.

James, Valerie, and Anne were all there to audition, too. It was so comforting having them all with me. A lot of talented people were there. I must say that I really liked Valerie's singing audition. She had this most sincere and earthy vibe and I really admired her. James' reading was excellent. I think he will do really well in theatre. I see in Anne something of myself. She gives you the impression that she's a bit shy but she really strives to put herself out there on stage, as well. She has also always been ever kind and sweet. Curt was fantastic, and so was Janis!

Anyhow, just wanted to post something on the auditions as it's definitely one big milestone in my life. Not that traumatizing... and I'd certainly do it again :)

Good night!

Opening Night

Opening Night is finally over. The show was very well received and tonight was our 3rd public performance. Thursday was the first, and that show was our Final Dress rehearsal. Everyone is doing great. I am so proud of everyone involved in the show. It is clear that the actors understand the text more and more with each performance, and every little adjustment or change to interpretation makes a HUGE difference in the impact to the audience.

I have been running the show since tech rehearsals started and I am really, really enjoying it! It satiates the control freak in me :) I call the cues, when the show starts, etc., etc. and I get to wear a headset. Muahahaha. I'm addicted. A lot of the actors and most importantly, our director, have said that I am doing a super job. To be honest, I think my job is real easy simply because most everyone I work with is just wonderful.

I have to gush about the lead actors in the show. I love Beth a lot. She is the actress that plays Katharine, the "Shrew." She is so grounded and down to earth and super nice, and apparently, she's been in theatre for years! In fact, she's going to direct the theatre's upcoming production of Aladdin. I already told her I would love to be her AD for the show. She always has her lines down and is super sweet. And Phil! Oh my goodness, Phil. He consistently performs with an unparallelled energy, is always very courteous and very down to earth, as well. I can tell he takes his art/work very seriously. I think Harry, our director, could not have selected a better Katharine and Petruchio.

I am absolutely blessed, honored, and humbled to work with such a fantastic group of people. We have 5 more performances to go, and while I can't wait for a break, I am sure I will absolutely miss the fun and thrill of Shrew.

Off to auditions on Monday for Smoke on the Mountain.

Good night!

Last Line Night, At Last

Tonight was our final Line night! It actually went quite well, though we were missing Dave and Alex, and Damon came in tonight when I thought he'd be out of town! We had to do Scene 1 a few more times than I expected to get the flow going, but Scene 2 was a breeze! Steve really cracks me up. He does such a fantastic job as Vincentio. It's too bad I missed him from his stint with the play Frankenstein last year!

Phillip got teased a lot for his kissing scenes with Beth. Teehee. I get kilig (Filipino for giddy) whenever they do those scenes. XD I'm sure Phil does too, by the look on his face. Beth seems to be taking it really well. Experience? ;) Haha. I love Beth. She always waits for me when I close down.

Tonight was capped with delicious Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate cookies (of course!), some good coffee, and a stop at Applebee's, initiated by Tom. It was fun! It's always an honor to work with and get to know such a talented, passionate group of people. You'll always learn something new from them.

And with this, I bid thee adieu.

Have a super weekend!

Let the Games Begin

Only the strong survive.

In this case, only the consitently persistent survive.

On October 1st, the RW3 Survivor game begins.

11 contenders.

10 Pounds.

5 Weeks.

Who will outlast the rest??

I'll keep you posted ;)

What is your daemon?

I cannot wait for the movie to come out! I'm a big fan of the books and it would be so fantastic to finally see Pullman's vision on the big screen. Take the test and let me know what your daemon is!

Something Missing

Tonight's rehearsals were weird. We ran through the usual motions, but something felt like it was missing. And I didn't think I could get that missing something simply by rerunning through the scenes all over again; I just couldn't put my finger on it. Even the actors could tell... "is that it?" Damon asked, when I called it a night, "aren't we supposed to do it till we have it perfect?" piped in James. I said as long as you understand what you're supposed to say and when you're supposed to say it, paraphrasing is okay. What's important is you make sense. Even Harry, our director, told me that it's okay to give the actors room for their speeches - it could be more understandable to the audience that way. I don't know. It does bother me. We finished rehearsals in an hour and a half, which seemed short after a few consecutive 2 hour sessions. I guess I'll talk to Harry about it tomorrow. Now that I think about it, maybe it was because Tom (Baptista) wasn't there. I don't know.

Three hours of sleep rarely ever helps. Today was a weird and busy day. I was on a very important conference call today when an uninvited guest signed in and started sending us weird messages. It was extremely strange and I really started gettng paranoid, especially as the "guest's" email domain ended with the name of a very (in)famous retailer, though it was misspelled. There was a collective feeling of violation amongst the call's participants, and we were worried a security breach might have taken place either with the local email accounts or with our call service provider. It was extremely strange. On the other hand, Mark did a real good job with our company's proposal and his presentation. I sure hope we gain something new out of it.

I am currently busy learning some new songs for the upcoming auditions with the ACO. Along with September comes try-outs for the Gospel-comedy-musical "Smoke on the Mountain." I'm hoping to get the part of Denise Sanders, only because it looks like my voice and personality seems the most suited for her character. We'll see. Whether or not I get cast, I know the most important thing is I put myself out there. The song I'm learning for my solo is called "I'll Never Die (I'll Just Change My Address)." It's very pretty melodically, but as you can tell from the title, the lyric is very entertaining. ;)

That's all for now - this compulsive list-maker must return to her to-do list. Good night!

Saturday Social

Saturday the 18th of August was probably the most social day I have ever had here in Arkansas (not including theatre and work). Dinner with the NWA Social Forum was fantastic. Though there were only 4 of us (Jud, June, and Donne), we all had a wonderful time. First we had dinner at AQ Chicken House, which was actually a very nice restaurant and had some really nice southern meals. We then went to Gator Golf for a round of putt-putt and then on to Dickson Street for some ice cream after melting in the humid weather. Kristen, Heather, and Matt joined us at the Haagen Dazs ice cream parlor.

Tonight reinforced to me that I am indeed an old soul. Just like that literary tour I once took in Reno, I was the youngest of the lot, the rest being in their 30's and upwards. I just love listening to people who have learned so much in life and have gone through a lot. I was particularly fascinated with June, a lady I would guess to be in her 50's. She is an Architect by trade and is a great example of a strong, inspiring woman. I also, however, have to say that I liked Donne very much. She is currently pursuing her PhD at the University of Arkansas and is just the sweetest, funniest person. She is interested in auditioning for Smoke on the Mountain with me at the Arts Center of the Ozarks, and the group is interested in watching the Shrew, as well! Jud, as usual, was being his cynical self, and we gave him endless grief for it ;) We took some pictures and I'll post them as soon as Donne sends them over.

I can't believe it's almost 2AM. I have been very obsessed about chores around the house lately and so I am used to sleeping in the wee hours of the morn, given my current schedule (at least 8 hours of "normal" work in the daytime, and 2 to 3 hours of theatre work at night). Tomorrow, Sunday (which is today, really), I'll be concentrating on house chores since I slacked off today and took it as my rest day. I'm very happy and content, right now. I wish you the same sort of feeling.

Good night!

A Lesson in Letting Go

In things that matter (because I can be pretty laid back with things that don't), I've always been quite the control freak slash demanding perfectionist.

Recently, I've been revisiting my desire to skydive and wondered if there would be any sky dive centers here in Arkansas. Lo and behold, there are. Skydiving has always been in my list of "Things to do Before I Die," and now I think I know why. It's a good lesson for me in the art of relinquishing control. In skydiving, I am definitely at the mercy of 1. the elements; and 2. my instructor. Not that SCUBA Diving doesn't teach you that (I was an avid diver back in the Philippines), but with skydiving, one tiny error can cost you your life; that and for sure, it's going to be one experience I'm never going to forget (assuming I survive it), and hopefully help inspire me to live my life in more carpe diem-like fashion.

I think I'll do it early next year. I know of at least three people who are going to kill me if I don't make it past this year :)

Mid-August Update

Below is an entry I posted to my "BIG" Blog. It contained lots of important stuff so I'm posting the exact same entry here since BIG is a restricted blog. But since this is my personal blog, I'm appending some more "personal" stuff below ;)

Clearly, I spake too soon in the last entry. Detailed narrative... sure, I have it in my head; next time, I should consider time constraints, too ;)

Today I attended the first meeting of the "Let's Have Coffee Meetup Group." Though there were only three of us who attended - Sam, the organizer, and Donna, apart from myself - I had lots of fun. The picture to the left is of me and Donna at the Pontiac Coffee House. It's a real neat place and definitely not your typical coffee shop, and they definitely have great coffee and food.

I've always preferred things like these - small, intimate gatherings where you really get to know other people - as opposed to loud, raucous parties where all you really do is drink and go crazy. I don't mind the latter occasionally, in fact, last night, I went out with the troops from the Arts Center of the Ozarks to Fayetteville for a night of drinks and punk rock. It was fun to spend some time with the actors outside of the theatre and get to know them a little bit more. Naturally, the ones that came were in my age group, though some of them even thought I wasn't old enough to gain admittance into a bar. Ha! That made my night ;) James, who plays Tranio in our production of Taming, treated us all out to a round of Tequila Sunrises.

The production is going well, I think, though some actors are struggling with memorizing their lines. As AD, it's my job to make sure that all the actors are there, to open up before and close down after rehearsals, and most importantly, be in charge of Line Rehearsals/Nights. I was fully in charge of rehearsals for the first time this Thursday (Harry, the Director, was there the first Line Rehearsal night to make sure I was okay with it). I had to push some of the actors a bit hard because they obviously did not spend much time studying their lines. What kills me the most is when they don't even know when they're supposed to say something! I tried to make sure though that I didn't push them too hard. At the end of it, Chris, who plays Gremio, said "thank you so much for your patience and leadership tonight, I could not have done it without you." Tom, who plays Baptista, also said his thanks and promised to work on his lines more. Wow. That made my whole evening.

As I spend more time here by myself and get to know myself more, I'm finding I'm a bit of an old soul. Or maybe that I'm simply an extrovert on the outside but I really am quite antisocial on the inside. For instance, I find that I enjoyed this morning's coffee meeting much more than last night's carousing... and that I'd rather travel or read a book or write than go out and party. Not that this is a new realization by any means - it's more of a reinforced thought in the back of my head.

This month has been both absolutely exhausting and exciting for a lot of people: Brad with his new house, me with my Bentonville and theatre stuff + handling Nestle while Rachel was out on vacation (what a slacker), Rachel with her stuff...man. I can't believe we're in mid-August already. Soon, it will be time to come back to Austin and then off to Florida for Letti's wedding! I am very excited and happy for Letti, she really deserves all the happiness and blessings in the world! We are also planning a sailing cruise while we are in town. It's been AGES for me and I so miss the ocean. So far, it'll be me, Rachel, Ruth, and Capri flying in.

Oh before I forget, Sam (from this morning's meetup group) shared a very useful site for you travellers out there. Check out http://xjet.com/. Really neat site and great deals on airfare from Austin to select cities! I'd have to fly out of Tulsa from this end, but the prices would make it worth the drive.

Hope all is well in your part of the world!

======= End of BIG Blog Entry =======

This month I also had my annual review with my ever-so-awesome Boss, Brad. It was nauseating. I can't believe I only got 10 out of 15 Outstandings. That sickens me (I'm sure Brad will puke if he gets to read this :P).

I love reviews. I've always loved getting feedback on how I'm doing. I want to hear if I'm doing well or not, and if not, how I can improve on my stuff. Lots of exciting things came out of that meeting, the point most important being my future with RW3. I love this company and I love my job. The fact that they choose to invest so heavily in my professional and personal development - which ultimately benefits the company, of course - makes me feel that I can really make a big difference in our business and the world.

I mentioned to Brad a few weeks ago while I was in Austin on my plans to take an MBA and when we finally decide to open an office in England, to study theatre and lit there while I work. It feels so great to let him know of my dreams and just know that he supports me in everything (good) I do. So, for now, I am currently looking for good online MBA courses. Brad suggested I take an international MBA because that will be most fitting for when RW3 goes global. I stumbled across two strong contenders: Northeastern University and Thunderbird University. Both schools are internationally accredited and highly ranked by BusinessWeek and Forbes. I had my interview with an admissions officer from Northeastern yesterday, and he said it was his job to determine if I'm even qualified to begin with, and if so, to help me get in to the program (apparently, not very many are accepted).

The interview went really well though I told him I wasn't sure of the timeline as to when I start school just yet (I find setting realistic expectations at the very beginning helps a LOT in almost ANY situation). I also looked into the University of Phoenix program, but was not very impressed with their courses, plus they lacked the accreditation these other contenders have. So, we'll see. I'm very excited about this plus everything else I am sure will come pretty soon. We are looking to open an actual, physical office here and hire someone else to do more of the sales stuff. I hope our current prospect accepts. I think he's great.

So for now I must bid thee adieu...

See YOU at the tracks! :)

Failure to Yield

I think it was about a week ago when it happened. The main intersection between 290 and I-35 right by my workplace is notorious for incorrigible driving behavior - drivers turn from a "straight" lane when they are suppposed to take the side road that turns. More annoyingly, drivers that take that side road don't yield to the cars in the main road when they have a yield sign clearly posted right in front of them. I just happened to be in one of the two lanes in the main frontage road at the time, on North I-35 - a huge SUV was right beside me. This 18 wheeler decided that he was immune from yielding, being the big old gargantuan truck that he is. And of course he took up the 2 lanes he was merging into. He almost hit me and the SUV beside me, had I not swerved into the SUV's lane and the SUV's driver had the presence of mind to break and leave me barely enough space to get in front of him and zoom past the 18 wheeler. F&$*&^@ POS Bastard. I hate irresponsible drivers like that. My dad always said that a lot of people drive but a lot don't know HOW to drive. Again, his point is proven true. I've simply been dying to get that off my chest (no pun intended). The SUV driver and I could have been seriously hurt or killed. Bastard.

Now to more important news... ;)

I'm currently at the Mazda dealership having my brother's to-be-car inspected and maintained. It's taking awhile. So, I thought I'd finally post an update. Much has happened. This is actually my second week in Austin, having had to come as Rachel was going on vacation to begin with, but having to stay an extra week because Rachel's granddad passed away. My heart so goes out to that girl. She has gone through a LOT this year and I hold her very dear to me. She is one good and strong woman, I don't know what I'd do if I were in her place. I am very proud of her; I hope she knows that.

I do miss being in the office and being around with people. I must say I really enjoyed my time here. It's been quite stressful, though - imagine having to manage the desk of a large candy manufacturer (that is notorious for being extremely... busy), and my current job in Bville. It was fun, and it wasn't fun. I love being busy, but man was I stressed. I'm very glad and happy though that the projects ended up being great and that things went as smoothly as they did. Ruth is always such a pleasure to work with, and I am also very glad I got to know Sienna a little bit more. She's a total doll, I adore her. Of course, it was very great to see the rest of the team and finally see Brad. It's been ages. That boss of mine manages to remain beyond words. He's so fantastic. Heck, our team is so fantastic :D

I was very happy to catch up with Letti who is busy with her wedding plans (I really have no clue how she's juggling THAT AND her job), and Annie, who is very busy with life. I also managed to unload some of my burden with Chris. A lot of our past relationship has kept me angry and bitter and it was such a relief to unload it all on him. I decided to let him know how I felt, and now, I can actually see us as becoming friends. Good friends, too. It's very liberating to know I can tell him exactly how I feel without fear of anything.

Oh, here's a Bentonville update for ya: I made Assistant Director to the Arts Center of the Ozarks' production of Taming of the Shrew!!! I am so very excited. I spoke to Harry yesterday to check in with him and we shall meet on Monday afternoon so I could get my briefing. I get to go in to the theatre through the Stage Door. Woohoo!

A good number of workfriends and I went to Happy Hour at Trudy's this past Wednesday, which was a lot of fun. I got to see and interact a little bit more with the Dev folks + Tam + Marco. Traitors :P It was great seeing everyone outside of work, though. RW3 really has an amazing group of people. I am honored to be part of this company.

So that's it for a quick update + gushing session. I'll update more soon, I'm sure, especially as I start going into rehearsals! Wooohoooooooo!!!

Oh, oh, and Brad will be flying into town to catch the play. Hopefully he can bring Raquel with him. :D

Today's the Day

Man, today is going to be a L-O-N-G day.

First of all, it's 3AM and I'm still up working.
I'm running some queries on SQL and I want to make sure they are all running properly. I don't want to just let them run in a job when some of them may have some sort of error, which results in the job not running at all!

Secondly, I naturally have the rest of the day for "normal work hours."

Thirdly, I have my private Acting lessons in the afternoon - for which I have yet to practice in front of the mirror (per my teacher, Harry!). We have been doing really well, by the way. Harry is an awesome teacher. Very constructive, a brilliant director, I can tell, and he has such a deep understanding of the text... I am learning so much from him.

Fourth, I'm going to watch the ACO's production of Guys n' Dolls at 7:30pm.

Fifth and last and definitely not the least... It's Harry Potter Time at midnight. I CAN'T BELIEVE the time has come. I am a-shiver with excitement.

Still, I have no idea how I'll survive!

HP Madness-Overload-Excitement

It's amazing how I have resisted the urge, thus far, to gush about the upcoming release of the final book of the Harry Potter Series. I will be up late, late, late tomorrow evening to attend the Harry Potter Book 7 Midnight Launch Party at the nearby Barnes and Noble. And of course, I've reserved my copy.

Forgive me this one indulgence:
I CAN'T WAITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

Thank you. :)

P.S. I can't resist the urge to analyse the book cover for a moment. Does it not look like Harry is summoning something (or someone?) that is making Voldemort step back, perhaps in fear? Look at all those destroyed pieces of wood. I wonder if that in some ancient wizard colloseum of some sort. Eeeep! I'm so excited :D
P.P.S. I wonder if Rowling will continue to write. I know she mentioned previously that she is not going to write anything Harry-related after the series is finished. She is *such* a talented writer, it would be such a waste if she chose to stop! Also, she is such an inspiration. After all the obstacles she's encountered... wow, look at where she is now. It's astounding.

Acting Lessons

Today I started my private acting lessons with Harry Blundell, the Theatre Director at the prestigious Arts Center of the Ozarks. It was fantastic! He said I did a really good job at reading, especially for the first day of class, that I have great facial expressions, a beautiful tone of voice, and that he was glad that he was finally teaching someone who really appreciates the text. Haha! I just need to work on projecting my voice and studying my character and what she means to be saying. For this week long class, I am reading two monologues by Portia, from Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice.



My first two days of class, I will be practicing on the below speech:

The quality of mercy is not strain'd,

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:

'Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes

The throned monarch better than his crown;

His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,

The attribute to awe and majesty,

Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;

But mercy is above this sceptred sway;

It is enthroned in the hearts of kings,

It is an attribute to God himself;

And earthly power doth then show likest God's

When mercy seasons justice. Therefore, Jew,

Though justice be thy plea, consider this,

That, in the course of justice, none of us

Should see salvation: we do pray for mercy;

And that same prayer doth teach us all to render

The deeds of mercy. I have spoke thus much

To mitigate the justice of thy plea;

Which if thou follow, this strict court of Venice

Must needs give sentence 'gainst the merchant there.

I must memorize all this tonight. Yikes!

Dear Blog...

I just wanted to say I love you...

You listen
You subject yourself to my quirks, both great and small
You share that faraway part of me to the world without judgement
You never forget my secrets
You always bring a smile to my face whenever I see you
You grow with me, change with me
You're always there for me, provided there are no system maintenance events going on and that I have access to the internet.
You keep my memories close to you.

And so I thought I'd just give you some love :-*

*Grin*

On a serious note, I really am loving my blog. It does always cheer me up whenever I see it or think about it; it reminds me that there is always a way for me to express my thoughts without holding back in the vast void that is cyberspace. Writing is always something to look forward to.

Good night, for now.

Pictures from Chicago

I apparently managed to amass 183 media files within 3 days and 3 nights in Chicago. I'm impressed :)

The Luckiest Friday the 13th

Wow. What a great day. And for some reason, I was afraid that today was going to be "unlucky" for me. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was going to either possibly miss my flight because I wanted to cram so much in today or spend one hour in a boat on the flowing river. But nope, today was a *great* day!

Here's why:
1. I attended some meaningful workshops during the Conference's last day and met more really cool people
2. Got to spend some bonding time with two other Pinays working in the same industry
3. Got a couple of really exciting reads on the Retail Industry and got to have the other one autographed by the author
4. Got to say goodbye to a couple of the P&G gals I liked so much
5. I managed to get on the acclaimed Wendella Boat Ride Architectural River Tour. It was great. The tour guide was very, very knowledgeable, and I got some really nice pictures!
6. "The Jenny that makes me crazy (in a good way)". That's what my cabbie called me. My cab driver was super nice and called me a "beautiful lady" several times (he was Lebanese and we exchanged some French and Arabic greetings). Granted it was a little bit creepy at times, but it's always nice for a lady to hear such a complement several times in a short amount of time.
7. I got a really cool Chicago memento :D
8. I got to help a person in need
9. I got to catch up and bond with a friend who is no longer with our company :(
10. I got to talk to Brad and give him a really good update
11. I met the VP of a very well known and leading poultry company (who offered me a job, which I respectfully declined and instead offered her our services ;)). We exchanged cards. She seemed really cool.
12. And of course, today was the day I got my bonus. Haha! That always helps! ;D

More details and pictures up soon. The days before today went FANTASTIC, as well. I am so tired and need to catch up on sleep!

I heart Chicago.

Good night!

A Wickedly Good Time

Today was my lucky day. I happened to sit with the folks from a really well-known and respected CPG company (Pam, you rock!!!) who also happened to be planning to go to one of the biggest hits on Broadway currently: Wicked. I was rather upset because I thought that it would be quite impossible to snag a ticket last minute due to the show's astounding popularity. We had dinner at this upscale Italian restaurant called Cafe Spaggio and rushed over to the Oriental Theater to catch the 7:30 showing, having bought the tickets a measly few hours ago while in the Conference.

I'll do a review and post pictures later on, plus one for OOTP, the movie. Suffice to say, I plan to watch Wicked and OOTP again the next chance I get. For now, I must try to catch up on sleep. It's been a busy past couple of nights!

Ciao.

The Exceptionally Windy City

I gotta put this down before I burst. I got my Quarterly review today, of which I was particulary nervous because I was being graded against my new job.

I must say that I am exceptionally pleased with the results! Hahahaha! Woohoo! :D

I'm leaving for Chicago today to attend a major retail conference and see my friend Rachel, Maan, Tiffany, and hopefully Sarah, if I hear from her. And I'll get to see HP 5 tonight!!! I'm very excited!

I don't know what I did to deserve all this but once again, I am very humbled. Thank you so much, God, for blessing me with all this. I'm totally undeserving but you keep on blessing me... THANK YOU!!!

If a Nomad Were to be A Homeowner...

That Nomad would own no ordinary home. Here is a look at the would be ceiling, as it were, of that home ------------->

Pretty, isn't it?

I guess my childhood through adulthood sailing excursions with dad made quite an impact on me. I miss Sweet Pea, my dad's old Hunter Sloop. I've felt quite the pressure to purchase a home for awhile now. Not that I can already afford one, but all the financial experts seem to agree that owning a home is the best purchase or investment one can make. And a lot of them believe that money spent on rent is money simply wasted. So, you must buy a house as soon as you can! I've learned that that is not necessarily the case. In fact, if you move a lot, like me, it might be a pretty bad deal. For one thing, it doesn't make you very mobile; for another, the costs are much more than meets the eye. Renting allows you the freedom of calling your landlord whenever there is a problem with the property. If you own the place, you'll have to do (and pay for) it all yourself. I don't think I'm financially stable enough yet to do that. I also don't want to buy a home for the sake of buying one. I want to get one when I feel that I've found a place I can really call home. Although, I will admit that having my own house will give me a tremendous sense of satisfaction, I am sure.

For now though, I see myself owning a sailboat and making it my home. I would love a catamaran (the link also showcases Greece. Ah. Greece + Catamaran = Heaven). I can take it anywhere with me (thank goodness 75% of the earth is covered with water :)) and it will give me a wonderful excuse to spend time in the ocean. Oh, I love the ocean. I love sailing. I love the sea. Watch me gush! Plus, it's something I can choose to keep if I decide to own a house inland. I really think owning a sailboat is consistent with my own personality or self-perception... that I am an explorer, a traveller, a nomad who finds her home in her friends, a "skydiver", as one of the personality tests assessed when I was back in University.

I just have to share this funny anecdote from today. I made dinner of rice pilaf, roasted chili corn, and pan-seared tilapia. Naty finished about 1/3 his plate. About an hour later, he starts to rummage in my fridge and asks what I've got to eat. I say I have an oreo cookie left. He takes it. He wants more. I suggest yogurt and strawberries. He just wants the strawberries. He finds he's still wanting. Apparently, that wasn't dessert by any stretch of the imagination! By this time, I'm out of utensils, having served the whole family dinner. I find one last clean spoon and let him try the yogurt. He likes it! Unfortunately, his brother Noah wants some, too, but with cereal. Naty wishes he had the strawberries with the yogurt. I give Noah the spoon as it's a bit more challenging to handle cereal with yogurt. Naty finds an ice cream scoop that he willingly volunteers to utilize. He actually is able to use it quite impressively! It so cracked me up, eating his yogurt hungrily with an ice cream scoop and a regular bowl. Afterwards, he even decides to clean his plate by licking it clean: "watch out," he says, "you can't escape my tongue." His mom and I agree that he will be the ultimate ladies' man/heartbreaker someday ;)

I will bid you adieu tonight with a potential view of my back/front yard:


Now that's what I call bliss.

Antsy/Angsty

I walked around the neighborhood today for about 20-30 minutes. My legs were killing me all day from yesterday's adventure, but I was just feeling antsy. And so, I walked. I don't think my legs are any happier, but at least I got to let out the restlessness I was feeling for most of the day.

I'll have to look into the leg cramps issue. I really think it has something to do with me being top-heavy. If only I could walk on my hands and arms :)

Ooh ooh, before I forget, I finished the text of Taming today! On to Merchant :)

HP Fever :D

In a few days, I am finally going to see the "real life" D.A.

Can someone just say "EXCITED"???

Running Toward the Light

I ran and brisk-walked about 3 miles today. Yay! And you know what? I feel great. Even if I had to endure some leg cramps in the process, I feel great. The music helped a lot.

A couple of weeks ago, Carrie and I discovered this scenic walking/hiking trail up north in Bella Vista. We took a trek on it that time but were not able to do so very long because it started raining heavily. This time, we nearly reached the end of the trail, but had to turn back earlier so that sundown didn't catch up with us. Amazingly, I was able to run part of the trail. I suppose I was determined to make the most out of my work out, though I can hardly call it that. I'm almost tempted to call it an adventure - like meandering through the cobblestone streets of a foreign town. The sights were simply gorgeous! A thick forest of trees and swift running streams greeted you at each corner, bugs and birds abound. The air was delicious and richly scented. Ah. That's definitely something that must be done again. It was extremely refreshing to a body that did not find itself active, lately. It's so tempting to acquiesce to sluggishness or wanting to stay at home when you work at home and see all the house work you have to do. I've actually been wanting to go out and expend all my pent up energy for a while now, and I'm glad I finally did.

This time, the whole family was there: Carrie, Legrand, Noah, and Naty. I think Naty is getting to be real close to me. He's become very protective and even more affectionate with me. I kind of feel bad because I love them both and don't want Noah to get jealous; it's just Naty is a little more showy with his affection, and so I respond in kind. I do consciously try to give Noah a lot of attention as well, though. For the most part, they are really good and loving to each other, and I would be extremely blessed if my children treated each other the same way when I have them someday.

I think work-wise, I'm a bit burning out. It's not that I've been overworked and overstressed. It's more of I just need some time away for awhile. I still love what I do but I think I just need a break. I'm sure I'll get that break soon enough. Our business has been gaining some momentum here, though, and I am really glad. We have about 4 promising prospects out there, with one client signed already. It's awesome. I even got a very wonderful present from a few special people. Click here to find out what the present was :D Carrie and I used it the first time this 4th of July holiday and it worked great, only it's a pain in the patootie to clean!

I also got a suprising phone call from my gran today. She called because apparently, my mom wrote her a letter complaining I haven't written to her nor called her, not even for Mother's Day. I tried to explain the situation to my gran. I'm still not comfortable building a relationship with her just yet. I still can't find the will to trust my mom entirely... I am so scared to fall into that pattern of use and abuse again. I know I love my mom so much but I really am afraid that she'd break my heart again. I understand and really tried to empathize with my gran, though, but I couldn't help but feel a bit guarded because I really am not comfortable with external interference from people who don't really understand where I'm coming from. *Sigh* I love my gran, but I think I'll need some space for awhile... I spoke to my brother immediately after it to vent and he totally understood like I thought he would. Poor boy naturally got disturbed by it too, though.

Next week is something to look forward to. I'm leaving for Chicago Tuesday afternoon for a conference and that night, I am going to meet up with a friend I hadn't seen in ages from University! Rachel and I are going to have dinner and then proceed in all haste to watch the most important premiere of the year. That's right. Harry Potter 5's midnight showing. I am SO excited, I can't even begin to tell you how I feel! (Though I guess I just did :P)

After Chicago commences my week-long intensive private drama class with Harry Blundell, Director at the ACO. I am very excited. We will be using text from The Merchant of Venice (Portia's lines), and then I should be ready for my first auditions here for the play the Taming of the Shrew. I am so excited!

Tomorrow, I can hopefully start practicing my solo at Church. Lourdes, our Music Director wants me to do a Filipino song! Keeping that in mind, it's 10:38am and I have to be in Church by 9:30 tomorrow. So, I'll end it here for now...

God Bless, good night, and have a good weekend!

Struggling for Balance

Dear Blog,

Hurrah, this is my 100th entry!

Well, hello there. I've missed you so much. It's totally my fault we haven't been in touch in a while. You know me, once I find a creative outlet to obsess over, I obsess over it quite a bit, until I've exhausted all my energy out of it, and then I move on to the next method of expression I fancy. I will admit that this obsession (through which I found the perfect Father's Day Present) has been rather unhealthy... though I will say that it is probably because that part of me has been dying to come out since its dormancy 4 years ago. I think I just needed to get it out of my system.

Naturally, this isn't the only thing that's been sucking my time away. Things out here have finally begun to take off! I signed my first account last week. I don't do sales per se (*shudder*), but I do get some nice perks for getting more business for our company. I like to think that my job helps people and makes them look good. I think that's what I enjoy the most and where I will find fulfillment: Helping others and making people happy.

Amazingly, I find myself again at a crossroads, which is why I re-watched Patch Adams tonight. I love that movie, mainly because I've always acknowledged the possibility of being a doctor. I know I'm 26 now and that I have a wonderful job... but this underlying possibility has always stayed put because in my opinion, there is no better way to help people with their lives directly (and literally). To help heal. Wow. I can't imagine anything more fascinating. If this were to happen, though, now that I have my wits about me, I don't see myself pursuing anything until I am in my 30's. I'm still searching right now. And of course, there's business, and then there are books and the stage. I don't want to hold back anymore. And I think diving into lit and theater will, strangely, give me the true fulfillment I need. I look at being a doctor as a profession - something for the mind primarily, as it were; and my heart hungers for words, books, the thrill and expression of the stage. I definitely know this is something I will pursue before I even do anything about becoming a doctor. That's a great start.

Sometimes, I envy people who seem just so "perfect" or cut out for the part they're playing or doing (can't help the stage reference!). You know, you see someone who just seems to cut out to be a doctor or an actress or a singer and that's exactly what they've always wanted to be and they are doing it. I think it's great there are so many possibilities out there for me; but I don't know where to go, sometimes! Or maybe I do, and just not listening hard enough. It may be because I am only now beginning to let go of self-doubt and just not hold back. I don't know.

I also feel like I'm beginning to burn out at work. It's not so much the workload, but the stress of having had to deal with a move, a breakup, and all the other issues that came with it. I seriously feel that my ex (whether intentionally or not) fucked me over big time. Like a fool in love at the time, I let him. I trusted him, against my better judgment, with something real important to me, among many other things. Like most everything else placed under his care, this something was trashed and wasn't well taken care of. He was more a liability than anything else. I really felt like everytime I talked to him, the world came crashing down on me... like he just had to ruin my little happy world. I know that sounds selfish, but it's true. It's exactly how I feel.

I haven't had a vacation since I first moved here, which was mistake #1. I hit the ground running. I should have at least devoted some time to setting up. The last two times I tried to request for vacation - a request which could not be granted at the time, both times. I even couldn't take the half day holiday for the Friday before Memorial Day weekend. Holy crap, look at me vent! I really think I just need time away for awhile. I am okay, but I really am beginning to feel a bit of detachment and when I get that way, I know I need some time away to rest and rejuvenate. Or maybe I just really need to pray more. I haven't talked to God in ages. I mean deeply and sincerely and quietly talk to God.

I also miss the nightlife and friends in Austin. We'd go out for dinner most nights. I don't have that luxury here. Dining out alone is just not as much fun!

On the upside, our business here is really beginning to take off. The "feeding frenzy" has only just begun :) I will also be studying my first solo at mass today, which I am looking forward to! Also, there are auditions for "Taming of the Shrew" coming up. I'm going to try out and we'll see where it goes from there. I've thought about volunteering at the hospital or animal shelter, too. We'll see. Schrodie never found his way home. I do hope he is safe and sound wherever he is. I also need to start working on my character write up for a website my boss is starting up again. He asked me if I was interested to be a movie reviewer! There are tons of movies I'd love to see this weekend or the next. July brings the book Harry Potter 7 and the movie Harry Potter 5! I am very excited.

Last but not the least, some very special people decided to surprise me with a crazy present this weekend. To find out what it is, click here. These folks are unbelievable. Thank you, again, from the bottom of my heart. I really don't think I deserve it just yet, but thank you. You are so generous.

I've been sleeping pretty late, lately; between 12 and 2-ish. I don't know why. I need to get back on track and start exercising, too. There are so many things I want to do I drive myself crazy.

I hope you are well, wherever you are, and I will definitely try to be more in touch, soon.

Love,

Jenny

Happy Father's Day

I think the vid says it all. I love you, dad and I am so proud of who you are, what you've become, and most of all, of the fact that I have YOU to call my dad. Happy Father's Day!

Little By Little

Notice how my posts diminish in frequency the busier I get... it's sadly that typical ratio: the degree of business is inversely proportional to the frequency of posting. I miss my blog. So, I am pushing myself a little bit more tonight by adding a few tweaks here and there (a new song!) and putting in a post however succinct it may be.

You know, it's good to be home. After a full week in Austin and a weekend in Phoenix, I oddly find myself comforted by being here, in my own home. I still consider Austin my "home," but my place here, here in Bentonville, Arkansas, is truly what I've made home for myself. It's my refuge, away from the demands of the world, which is quite ironic since my office is in here, and that my soon-to-be (business) life is out there. Here, in this ever growing city. Maybe I feel this is home the most because I am actually responsible for something and that here, I have a chance to prove myself TO myself that I am a full fledged adult, capable of being entirely independent and self-reliant. I know I will do well; it's all up to me.

After 3 successive weekends of pure work, I find that I'm quite tired and need some rest. Gad, I hardly even remember or pay attention to the fact that it was my birthday last week. Yes, I am finally 26. I can hardly believe it. Birthdays used to be such a big deal. Now, it's all about work, which is really sad. I don't think Brad, nor anybody who cares about me would want that for me. I do enjoy what I do, but even I can admit that maybe I do it too much. I know that things will balance themselves out in the coming months. It's only a matter of time. With Rachel's help, things will be okay.

There was so much drama and goings-on in the office last week, I can hardly believe it. There's this odd sense of both detachment and uncertainty. I will not delve into any details, but I think we are managing things as best we could. Like I say, it's growing pains. Growth is almost always a painful thing, but it is utterly necessary; but, one must never forget their roots.

I think I'll end it here for now. My headaches have been particularly nasty the past couple of weeks and I think all this is finally taking a toll on me. It hurts to be an old fart ;)

Cringing a Little

I'm finally here in gorgeous Scottsdale, Arizona. I unfortunately didn't come at a good time, so Brad and Bruce recommended I just go straight to our hotel and then meet them for cocktails when the meetings are done.

The hotel is both different and gorgeous. Surrounded by lush greenery, with distinctive Arizonian/Aztec like architecture, the hotel almost seems like it doesn't belong where it is nestled. It's an oasis surrounded by a posh, $20 Million dollar a house (believe me, I looked - the houses were just so gorgeous!), residential neighborhood! It almost defeats the purpose. It doesn't feel like an escape anymore.

I saw a lot of these young, dressed up kids upon entering the lobby. Ah. Prom. Brings me back to hah, 11 years ago, during that oh so awkward period for me that was High School. Prom for me was very forgettable. And I tend to cringe when I'm around rich kids. I really shouldn't be so judgmental and give them the benefit of the doubt. But coming from an exclusive all-girls school, where rich kids were the norm, I can tell you that being around them was not entirely a pleasant experience, though there were diamonds in the rough. I just don't like seeing kids with the world before them not taking what they have seriously. They are so blessed, and I wish they would give and not think they were so high above everyone else. I know I can't help other people's behavior. I suppose I cringe because deep inside, I worry I'm like that, too. That I take a lot of the things I have been blessed with for granted. You know what they say, how the things we usually dislike in others are things we dislike in ourselves. Ah, well. Just thinking.

But hey, I'm on a blog-roll!

I screamed a celebratory woohoo in my rental earlier as I departed out of the PHX rental car building. Yes they have their own rental car building. It's huge, too. It was like a 10 minute shuttle ride from the airport. Anyway, I realized soon after that my windows were down. And so everyone in the building probably heard an echoing, resounding, swashbucklin' woohoo. :)

Why I fly AA, and will never fly Delta. Ever again.

Before I forget, this is something I've been wanting to post FOREVER.

Last week, I was booked for a flight to Austin. I made it to the counter 2 minutes past the 30-minute rule for check-ins. (Why, oh, why did I have to park in the Economy lot in that cold, rainy morning?). I would normally not be worried since I like to check in online the day before, but I needed to check a piece of luggage. Worried, I almost embarrassingly request for the help of the AA Customer Service Rep behind the counter.

"Oh no!", she says, not unkindly. "Hmmm, let me see if it'll let me take care of that for you."

A few tense, resigned moments pass by.

"Voila! Here you go!" She hands me my baggage claim tag and tags my bag accordingly.

"Thank you so much!" I sigh in relief and admiration.

I deposit my bag with the TSA and I go on my merry way.

-------------------

A few months ago, I was to take a Delta flight (I insisted with Brad I take it as it was the cheapest) from Las Vegas to Toronto to meet with Sony Canada. My grandma decides she wants to help take me to the airport. And so, I am 5-minutes past the 30-minute rule. (I apparently enjoy cutting it close).

I run up to the counter, my legs already cramping from the effort of dragging luggage and running through the cavernous Las Vegas terminal.

I line up at the ticket counter. I see an Asian lady, and a white lady. I hope I get the Asian lady as she seems nice.

Aha, I got her.

"Hi, I'm supposed to be on that flight to Toronto that leaves at 6:30, going through Salt Lake City, can I make it?"

"Hmm, you're 5 minutes late for check in, I can't check you in," she says with a look of sheer scorn.

"Can't you override the system or something? I really need to get on that flight. It's only 5 minutes anyway," I say, desperately struggling against the sinking feeling in my stomach.

"No," she says, flatly. "You wouldn't make it anyway."

"Can you at least try? Please?"

"Ok, I'll try, but I don't think it's gonna work for you... Yup, it won't let me check you in. The system works that way."

"Ok then," I sigh, "what's the next available flight?"

"There's another one at 7:15. You can make it but you're going to have to hurry."

"Fine. Book it."

She sighs, shaking her head the whole time. I take out all my travel documents. My passport, my confirmation information. Everything.

"Next time, you should come to the airport at least 2 hours early. That way, you won't miss your flight" She says condescendingly.

I don't even bother explaining the details. I just look at her and wait for her to finish up. She asks for my passport in order to get my information and then hands it back "you better keep those documents, those are very important."

I resist the urge to reply sarcastically. "Yeah, no kidding," I say dryly, as I begin to reorganize my stuff.

"Wait, I need your passport again." And then she asks for help from her co-worker because she doesn't know how to process the change, apparently. "This is so hard," she sighs, muttering under her breath as she shakes her head.

After a few moments, she tells me there is a booking change fee of 25 something dollars. Resigned, I say "fine," and write a check. I feel guilty for it, but it is what it is. Brad and Cal will have to wait a little longer for me in Toronto.

She gives me instructions on how to get to my gate, again reinforcing the fact that I needed to hurry. I manage a thank you and get the hell outta there.

It's fine that people make mistakes, and it's fine that I have to move to another flight. It's no one's fault but mine. But do you have to be a f*&^(^% b*tch about it??? There's a reason your position is called customer service. Gad, that's such a pet peeve of mine. I hate horrible customer service, or the lack thereof.

It didn't help that going through ATL was horrible. Ironically, the TSA agent that inspected my bags (I was one of those randomly selected) with that day made my day. She was Asian too, funny enough, looked very intimidating, and was super nice. I ranted to her about this Delta employee, and she said she doesn't understand why some people are like that.

Sometimes things are really just not the way you expect them to be.

Lesson learned: You get what you pay for. :)

P.S. If Southwest flew out of XNA, they would probably be my #1, AA being a close 2nd.

Sleepless in DFW

I'm currently in the DFW Airport's unbelievably gorgeous-shopping-centre-like D Terminal, waiting for my connecting flight to start boarding. I've been here since 9:15am. It's currently 12:03PM. My flight doesn't leave till 1:40PM. I've been passing the time by reading up on NACDS and any pertinent information I need to know because I am enroute to PHX to attend what is apparently the most prestigious conference in the (their) industry. If the tone of my writing seems tired and monotone, it would be because I didn't get any sleep last night :) I am surviving on pure endorphins and java, right now. It's a miracle I can even write and think!

I just couldn't sleep. Whenever something big and exciting like this is coming my way, I am just so caught in the excitement and the desire to be as prepared as possible that I drop all else (including sleep) and just think about it and prepare for it as much as I can. (Check out my article in my work-related blog, if you are an authorized reader ;)). Not that I didn't procrastinate. I could have been reading this material before bed and all that. But no. That's my "personal time." Might as well work during "travel time" if travel time is for work. Besides, I've been working long hours for my "day job." ;)

It's a Saturday today - yes, I am working, but yes, I can't complain. I don't think I deserve all these opportunities that have been given to me. Sometimes, I think it's too much. God's given me so much I don't deserve, I don't even know what to do sometimes! So a lot of the times, I'm too hard on myself. I realize that now. I have been given so much that I feel I must give even more in return, and I get disappointed when I find I can't give as much as I want to. It's hard to remember that all you have to do is give it your best and that should be enough; that's all you can do. Bleh. I SO want to do a good job - in this, in Bentonville, in life, in general. I see so much to improve in me, it's not even funny. It's so funny how I am so hardworking at work but I'm such a slacker in other things - I don't keep in touch as much with family and friends (including God), don't take as many chances as I should, don't love as recklessly as I should, don't hold back as much as I should... And I always wonder, how can one ever grow out of it? Out of the familiar shell they find so much comfort in? Is it simply change? The occurence of some cataclysmic event so that they are forced to adapt? I don't know. All I know is I so want to get there. I just don't know how.

BUT! I will learn.

(Dad? Brad? Are you there? ;) )

Maybe I should start praying, again.

I Heart My Coffee

Today I had my first try of Gevalia Kaffe. It seemed like a great deal to order any two "bricks" of coffee and get a coffee maker and scoop for free for only $14.95. Admittedly, I didn't expect much; I mean, if they are too desperate to sell their coffee by offering up a free coffee maker and coffee scoop then it can't be THAT good, can it? Anyhow, being the nut I am for Viennese coffee and all things dark chocolate/cinnamon, I ordered the Cafe Sperl and the Mocha Coffee varieties.

Oh my goodness.

I am having the Mocha Coffee right now and it is absolutely delicious. It's a draught of heaven in a cup!

Y-U-M.

Wonderful news

My dad just informed me today that he plans to visit come July/August. I am so excited, I can't wait! It would be a year and 3 or 4 months since I last saw him! I can't wait.

I'm also looking forward to my brother's graduation. I am really hoping he can come live with me soon after. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

Bound for Austin

I'm leaving for Austin tomorrow, Friday the 13th - I can't imagine a better day to fly :)

I was supposed to leave today but was too sick to travel. Yesterday was the worst. I won't go into the gory details, but suffice to say, it was horrible. What bad timing, too. I have a huge project that is due and I have no idea how I'm going to be able to finish it on time between that and the other little things that occur as the day passes + my personal stuff here.

Note to self: Must get a couple days off when doing something major like relocating to another state. I just need a breather!

I'm going to Austin tomorrow to train some of my teammates on the Account I passed on to Raquel. It's just the two of us who've been working on it and we are slowly but surely dying! I don't even have the time to work on my new stuff, I feel so overloaded! We've been so busy working that there is barely time to breathe. This weekend, Raquel just reached her breaking point and we talked it over. As sad as it is, I never had the chance to think about any of the points she brought up previously because I've just been too busy - no time to waste! So, I am going to Austin to share the love. I was just asked by Brad a couple days ago if I could go. I totally did not expect the trip coming and I was pleasantly surprised.

Anyhow, just needed to let a bit out. I really must finish this project. *sigh* And I have to pack. Ah! How life comes at you so fast.

See y'all in Austin!

**I heart Austin. I can't wait to do my dinners with Raquel again. Taverna and Japon, here we come!!! :) **

P.S. I'm going to PHX a couple days after my trip to AUS. Then back to AUS again, and then finally back to XNA. Whew! I did tell Brad I loved travel. I never thought he'd take it soooo seriously! ;) But seriously, I heart it, I heart my job, I heart my boss, and I heart my team. *Grin*

Change is Coming

The winds of change blow yet again. Today I was inspired to design my template to be a bit more customized. Right now, yes, you see a whole slew of pictures from The Little Prince, my favorite book, but the template is still one of those built in ones that come with blogger. They are nice templates, mind, but I need something a little more me. And I know what I want, too :P

So I am posting this also to remind myself to do this in my "spare time." Let's hope it's done when the year ends ;)

Ciao and good night!

Javaholic

One of the most important things to consider when moving (assuming you are a coffee junkie, of course), is the accessibility of coffee. I didn't have a coffee maker in Austin. Coffee shops were everywhere and we had a pretty darn good supply of good coffee at work.

Now that I'm in Arkansas, I realize I would have found myself wanting had it not been for a fortunate accident wherein Cal, our COO/VP at work, discovered my love for good coffee. Thanks to him, I was introduced to this. It is absolutely delicious. And the man, wonderful as he is, sent me a whole boxful when I moved here.

The one thing I failed to consider at the time was that I had no coffee maker! For now, thank goodness for Carrie :D She's such a god-send. She loves coffee, too, and shares coffee with me everyday! I gave her a couple of "bricks" to brew with :)

Serendipitously, there's this thing you get from USPS whenever you move... kind of that welcome to your new home type of mailing, filled with coupons and special offers. And then I am reminded: Gevalia. For $14.95, I could get myself a stainless steel coffee maker, a stainless steel coffee scoop, and two half-pound bags of my coffee of choice. I selected the "coffee mocha" and the Viennesse Roast. All this and the Lavazza coffee!!! I can't wait for the stuff to arrive.

I am one happy girl. :D I'll let you know how it goes ;)

The Little Prince

There is this memory I always recall with at least some form of amusement.

I was in college, then, and I happened to be sitting at the library next to a classmate of mine, whom we shall call Arse (that nick was quite appropriate for this person in more ways than one, really).

I don't remember how the conversation led to The Little Prince and how it apparently was our favorite book. And then Arse suddenly says with much surprising earnestness, "how many times have you read it?", as if it was some competition. "Five", I say with much nonchalance. He beams up at me and says "Ha, I beat you. I read it seven times." I look at him in passing acknowledgment, saying "okay," as he smiles up at me in victory a few moments more.

I thought about it later, wondering why I was so disappointed in Arse's response and reaction. I was so eager to learn what he gleaned from the text, and what his interpretations were; what were the "moral values" he deduced from the child-adult fable... and all he wants to know is how many times I've read it?

Really, what does it matter? What does it matter if you've gone through the same potentially life-changing experience and you've walked away with either nothing from it, or something, but that something stays dormant or is used only for self-serving reasons. It's like having a pencil you try to sharpen all the time but the lead keeps falling off, and the piece of wood gets ever shorter. What's the point, then? If that's all that happens, you've totally missed it.

So why do I like the Little Prince so much? (If you can't already tell). At the end of it, I really don't know. Maybe it's because I discern something new every time I read it. Maybe because the language is so simple yet so beautiful and so meaningful. Maybe because the story seems so simple but there is so much more beneath it. Or maybe, I just don't want to lose the child within me (because that is the best way to lose perspective in the world). It's a book that leaves me undone and wondering every time I read it. Maybe that's what it is. The book never loses its magic and its message.

Happy Easter!!!

Hope you all had a good one.

Wishing you lots of God's grace and blessings in the days to come.

What Brad really thinks of me

I've been meaning to post this for awhile now. It's highly entertaining. I was asked to do a writeup about myself for our company newsletter since I was moving to Bentonville to establish an office for our company. I really don't like writing about myself in order to market me, so I requested my ever so kind boss, Brad, and BFF, Rachel, to take on the task. Given their extremely competitive natures, they decided to make a competition out of it. Below is the winning piece:

As part of our upcoming RW3 Wal-Mart initiative for 2007, we will be transitioning Jenny Lorenzo, a Senior InSight Group Business Analyst, to a new position. Jenny has been with the InSight Group for over two years including roles as Report Analyst, Design Engineer and Business Analyst. Ms. Lorenzo has spent much of your RW3 career as the Lead Analyst for the Nestle Foods account. Jenny’s new title will be Strategic Business Analyst for the InSight Group.

Jenny will be relocating to Bentonville, AR in the first quarter of the year. She will be establishing a key presence for RW3 in the CPG industry centered around the Wal-Mart base of operations. Jenny will be able to provide onsite consulting and analysis with both current and new clients in the area.

Jenny is a highly qualified RW3 resource and has earned both a Bachelor’s Degree and Master’s Degree in Information Technology. Combining her vast education with her close working relationships with CPG clients has allowed Jenny to excel in her many roles with the InSight Team.

Ms. Lorenzo enjoys singing, reading and creative writing. Her new CD entitled “Nestle Nights” will be out in March. Jenny hopes to stop using Crack in 2007 and wants to find two men to be her submissive slaves. Jenny can be reached on her website, www.jennyisthebestpersonintheworld.com. Jenny’s fondest memory is framing her best friend into going to jail when she actually robbed the church. Her favorite saying is “F-YOU, Bitch”. We are so excited for her to get the hell out of Austin.

I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did ;) You can find the edited and published version here.

Major Changes

Time is of the essence so I will cut to the chase :)

1. I'm moving to Bentonville, Arkansas on March 17th.
2. I'm moving because I'm transitioning to a new (fun!!!) position: Sr. Business Analyst. Or Strategic Business Analyst. Basically, a the Report Services Team's "Travel Person" /BA. I'm absolutely looking forward to it.
3. I found a nice little duplex in Arkansas. It's an awesome transition place between apartment and house.
4. I'm buying lots of furniture this weekend, with pieces coming from IKEA, Bombay, and a couple other places. It's time to have "my own things."
5. Schrodinger, my beloved kitty, is coming with me to Arkansas.
6. Rachel, my beloved BFF/BAMF, is accompanying me on my road trip to Arkansas, and will stay with me till Thursday the following week (we are leaving Friday evening, most likely).
7. My boss, Brad, will be coming in that Monday.
8. Oh, I already have my keys and my garage opener. Woohoo!!!
9. I already met my neighbors there. Fantastic people.
10. I'd say I have some contacts there already. Not ready to call anyone friends yet, just acquaintances :)

That's all for now. Hopefully will continue before the move ;)