When it rains, it pours. Big time.

WARNING: Colorful language will be used.

Holy shit. What's up with today? Mondays are usually not very bad but today was extraordinary! I was getting some funky vibes from most everybody - Charlie, even Marc, Legrand, and worst of all, Chris. Why I decided to call him tonight, I do not know. Well okay, he left me a "ping" notice on my msn and I have been worried about him for awhile now regarding his money situation (he had sms'd me a few weeks ago asking to borrow money), so I thought I'd give him a call.

I had turned him down as politely as I could. He couldn't seem to understand that it was extremely strange and uncomfortable on my part to lend him money especially given the recent talk we had about how I felt he used me for money while we were in a relationship and that we are EXes, for crying out loud. And he said what I think of him matters to him, and then he asks me? It just doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't make sense to him either, apparently, how I could refuse to lend him something as measly as $20. I told him it wasn't the amount that mattered, it was the principle of the matter. But despite my discomfort, I was willing to scrounge up some dough and mail him a check. For goodness' sakes, it sounded like he was in pretty bad shape. But as soon as he started saying that I should wire it to him or whatever, even if a fee for the wiring needed to be deducted from the amount I was going to wire, it just, logically, didn't make sense to me. I mean, if you needed money right there and then, wouldn't you just think about the best person to ask who is LOCAL? Logically, this seems to be the best answer. Why would you want to go through some unecessary bullshit to get even less? At the time, he said it was okay, he understood and that he would resort to that. Tonight he gives me all this bullshit about using him for three years to get "experience", how I never wanted a husband from him, how I couldn't even lend him $20 when a friend ought to do something as SIMPLE as that... how he told his sister Tina and her husband Jason that I refused to help him and how they said that it was good for him as it was a wake up call to see just how selfish and self-absorbed *I* am. OH MY GOD. I couldn't believe my ears. This was the same couple that said thank you for my generosity for their wedding (having contributed the wedding cake) - a point that Chris used to argue to me that how dare I feed strangers I don't even know and not lend HIM $20! OH MY GOD! Is that an insane argument, or what?

I hung up on him.

I should have known it was bad news from the beginning. I should not have reconnected with him. Maybe there was this little timbre of hope of betterment or improvement or that it is simply best to unburden everything and forgive and forget. Maybe I was a little too optimistic. Maybe I'm simply naive. Maybe it was just a little too early.

I have made my mistakes in the past, naturally, and I am making them, still. But now, I am learning - listen to the ones with experience lest I suffer it to be my own.

And Charlie, I don't know what was wrong with you today, but damn, that's no way to treat someone you care about. Did you ever think that YOU might be the issue, not Shani or Louise? I understand adolescence is tough, but man...

Let's see what tomorrow brings.