Aftermath

First of all, I would like to apologize for having offended anyone for my use of brash language in the previous entry. It is very atypical of me to write in such a manner and know that I resorted to such vulgarity only because I was extremely upset at the time. Moving forward, I promise to try to bring myself beyond the initial base reaction before I begin writing.

In the unlikely event that you are curious as to what happened post "hanging up," I received an email the next morning from you-know-who calling me a dragon on a pedestal - an absolutely imperfect human being - and pointing out that among my many shortcomings, my "intimacy issues" and apparently low regard for him are what cause me to treat and use him with distrust and apathy. Interestingly, he ended the note with "From time to time, I may call but really Jen, being treated like you treat me ends now." He also said that me saying I was worried about his money situation was all "lip service." Note to self and you all - personal attacks and the refusal to take accountability for one's own feelings and actions are a glaring sign of immaturity.

I am extremely proud of the way I responded, placing my thoughts into bullet points and codifying them calmly. Here are the last 2 paragraphs and closing:

Last night was bad. I apologize for losing my temper on you… but I felt that all your accusations (even with the disclaimer that they were simply “how you feel”) were unfounded and unfair. I especially think you knew it would hurt my feelings when you told me Tina and Jason thought I was selfish and self-absorbed. I honestly don’t know why you plan on calling me still – from the sound and tone of your feelings and email, it’s like a lamb going to the “dragon” to be slaughtered every single time. Heh.

Please don’t bother calling. I think it would be a long time before we are able to really be friends. There is too much resentment and expectations on both sides which only time can dissolve. There is no need to reply to this email.

I hope you have a good day and best of luck with your life and career.

I think I did good. It's definitely much more satisfying, though it be harder, to take the high road. The following thought is inspired by what my dad said - it's okay to be a kind soul, but kind souls don't have to do crazy things or let themselves be taken advantage of.