On What Is to Come

One of the comments most recently posted on my blog made me think. And rather than replying with a lengthy comment back (not that I hadn't already), I decided that I would make an entry out of the thoughts that surged in as I read the following lines: "As for Grad School, I hope and pray that your experiences do not turn out like mine, more disenchanting than inspiring, save for meeting some wonderful students and a select few wonderful Profs. Just don't be too surprised when you discover that most of your colleagues really aren't that interested in reading. Or reading literature, anyway."

It's funny how true this was, oh good doctor, and I absolutely understand how that situation is.

When I was in High School, I (and some teachers) realized I had a knack for writing - essays, poems, journalistic articles. But then I also excelled in Science and IT. And at that time, I realized that since my parents divorced and my mom left herself rather dependent on me and my brother, that it was up to me to be the breadwinner of the family. I saw no great financial future in the Arts or Communications, and so I decided to major in IT. The industry was just on the very edge of booming, after all. Ah, the disappointment. In Senior year of High School, I saw an illustrious IT career all planned out in my head. I was good at programming. I even competed, for a short while. But enter Uni. Don't you just hate it when those who are supposed to teach and mentor you do not know how to teach? I have two cases here, of a man I utterly admire, and another I utterly detest. One of my Profs, Mr. P, was and is a very brilliant man. He KNOWS his subject matter by heart and loves it entirely. However, I don't think he truly knew HOW to teach it. So a lot of people ended up being bored and then miserably failing his classes because they didn't understand just what he was talking about. Another thing that made his reputation kind of precarious was that he flirted outrageously with some of his students ;)

Enter another teacher, Mr. Y - a most INCOMPETENT instructor, if I ever saw one. He played favorites based on race and affiliation with the University basketball team - let them cheat their way to A +'s, or didn't let them work for it, at all. He didn't know how to teach and it was all about politics for him. And he'll only acknowledge your existence if he needed anything from you, and even say stupid, tactless things to bring you down. Unfortunately, most of his classes were for programming, and interesting topics such as Computer Security. So while I am hopeful for most other things in life, he decidedly got me jaded in this career path. Which was actually good because upon realizing IT wasn't for me, and English was (with much thanks to Coelho's The Alchemist), I gained a whole new outlook and sense of meaning to my life.

Another thing that irks me is when people either take what they do for granted (mostly because they get their way or naturally excel at it), or or don't take what they do seriously. This is such a tender spot moreso perhaps because I realize that I have the propensity to do the same thing. I want passion in my life for all the things I do, and if I choose something as my life path, well I better damn well be passionate for it. Otherwise, why waste your (and other people's) time?

Really, what matters is you do what you love and enjoy and naturally excel in. That's what literature and writing is for me and what it always will be. After all, writing is what very steadily kept me sane and quite literally saved my life during the darkest days of my life, and I owe it to myself that I finally give that which urges the deepest stirrings in my soul a steady stream of undying devotion from the very depths of my heart.

See y'all at the tracks.

Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. ~ Mark Twain